The Country Fair

HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT – THE COUNTRY FAIR

          Attention…attention!!  I have Miss Emily here at the information both and she has advised us that her two blue ribbon piglets have escaped their pen and are loose on the Fair Grounds.  If you should spot these two little guys, please advise me because she is quite concerned that they may be lost.

          Attention…attention!!  It has been now brought to my attention that Mrs. Smothers while carrying her pies into the Pie Eating Tent tanged with two little pigs falling backward where her renowned peach pies met an untenable fate.  We are now looking for two little pigs covered in peaches and pie crust.

          Wait…yes Miss Emily…what…okay the pigs’ names are Walter and Jessie.  Okay…attention the pigs are Walter and Jessie.  Now Miss Emily don’t cry.

          Attention…attention!!  We ask that everyone stay clear of the Chicken Coop while the owners attempt to catch the chickens that were set free when two little pigs, while evading capture by Mr. Froggins knocked over the center table sending the chicken crates hither and younger littering the little pigs with chicken feathers that have now stuck to the peaches.  Please let us know if you see these rascals.

          Attention…attention!!  Please make room for the ambulance that is attempting to make its way to the Blue Ribbon Tent where I have been advised that the Widow Green was knocked over by two sticky, feather covered little pigs and Mr. Froggins who was yelling unmannerly as he dove under the table knocking the widow off her walker into the table of preserves sending the pickles across the room where little Tommy Grimm was sitting waiting for his grandmother.  Mrs. Green has been mumbling that she was attacked by fat chickens that smelled like a peach tree.  We believe there are numerous causalities and ask everyone to stay out of the tent until the matter is cleaned up.

          Attention…attention!!  It has been reported that the two little pigs ran through the sheep tent during the shearing contest and after toppling several sheep and scaring the baby lambs who are running loose through the Fairgrounds as the children try to catch them.  Mr. Froggins joining in on the escapade slipped on the sheep shit landing on his back causing his prior injury to reoccur.  We need the paramedics at the sheep tent as soon as they attend to the Widow Green and little Tommy.

          Attention…attention!!  The damn pigs have been spotted slipping into the bullpen and thankfully no one has volunteered to go in after them though it has been reported that they rolled in the bullcrap and then escaped into the east field heading toward the Produce tent.  In anyone sees these rascals, please let us know immediately since Miss Emily’s mother said she is distraught with their safety.

          Attention…it has been twenty minutes since the sighting of the two pigs.  Miss Emily’s parents have had to take her home hysterical, Mr. Froggins will be in traction for an extended length of time, Mrs. Smothers is calling for a recess in judging so she can bake another pie since it was not her fault causing a fight with Miss Ribbons who hit her over the head with her cane, Widow Green has passed out from the excitement and little Tommy says he will never eat another pickle as long as he lives.  If anyone see Walter and Jessie, please feel free to take them home for a barbeque.

Barb

@ October 10, 2013