Thursday, December 31, 2015

The Last Post of 2015


I sit here and wonder how I went from a curious small creature
to mandatory Medicare facing sixty-five
2015
'it was the best of times...it was the worse of times'

I have been taken to task for being
a bad mother in the eyes of the only child I braved the world to bear
and I wonder how that happened but I will own it.

I have been given the unconditional love
of two wonderful grandchildren who struggle to find their path
as they go out into the world.

I have fallen in love with the man I married
all over again in the City of Lights
with memories of the best trip in my life.

I have officially retired from my long
legal career in criminal law and though it is bittersweet
I so appreciate the years and the fact that my bosses are truly great friends.

I have made peace with my past
which was very hard because to shift gears after 50 plus years
makes things seem small in the rear view mirror.

I have given up being an activist
not because I am not but because if you're not
there's nothing I can do or say to make you change your views.

I don't need to be a feminist
because I am a woman, a girl, a mother and wife
independence lives in my soul like my beating heart in my body.

2016
will be the year of the cat paws
the year that I spend less time outside of myself
and more time
enjoying the adventures that are new and wonderful
where the shadows travel in the night
unseen but relevant
life is about life
enjoy the simplicity appreciate the complicated
but live life for there's only a promise
of tomorrow.

barb

Friday, December 25, 2015

Unexpected Guest on Christmas Morning


THE UNEXPECTED GUEST ON CHRISTMAS MORNING

    “Cassie, it is almost Christmas, and you are still working on decorating your tree?”
    Casandra MacDougall turned her head taking in her older sister who was removing her gloves as she crossed the room.  “Lucia, I have been very busy.”
    “Poppycock.  If you would stop this foolish thinking that you are capable of doing everything yourself, your tree would be finished, your gifts wrapped and your kitchen would be filled with the smell of ginger and peppermint.”
    Cassie stepped down from the stool and straightened her skirts.  “Why don’t you just bring me baked goods instead of believing that I should be in the kitchen baking.”
    “I don’t think you should be baking my dear; I think you are quite capable of having a full staff to handle all of these things so you can spend your time attending parties and looking for a new husband.  I had to provide once more a decent excuse when you did not show up at the Castles’ Christmas party.  Why in the world do you pretend that you will attend when we both know that you are hiding in this big house.  And that is the last time I believe your assurances that you are coming with Peggy.”
    Cassie walked over to the box on the floor and lifted out the glass angel holding it up.  Lucia spread her skirts as she sat demurely on the settee in front of the fire.  “Was the party last night?”
    “Casandra, I gifted you an appointment book for Christmas last year, but it does no good if you do not use it.”
    “Lucia, I appreciate your attempts to brighten my day, but neither of us can ignore the fact that my husband of less than one year ran off with my best friend.  If a woman is expected to spend a year in mourning when she loses her husband to death, I do believe the same should hold true if he is a scoundrel and breaks her heart.”  Cassie lifted her skirt and ascended the step stool dangerously swaying as Lucia had visions of her sister, the tree and the angel toppling over.  “You are most fortunate, dear Lucia, to have never dealt with such disappointment and shock.  It has only been two months, and I am not in the mood to deal with how society talks about me when I am in the room.  Oh, poor Cassie!  She couldn’t even hold onto the handsome Samuel MacDougall.  Why didn’t she see he was a scoundrel who would abandon her?  I am not in the mood to have my life the center of the season. I am just not ready to face anyone.”
    Cassie placed the angel gently on the top of the tree pulling her hand back slowly.  It was the only ornament that she inherited from her grandmother.  To be able to put her head on her grandmother’s lap was what she needed but that had been taken away from her a few years earlier.
    “You must face the world with your head held high and a smile on your face.  The gossips will gossip but you must appear happy to dispel the rumors.”
    Cassie stepped down and looked at her sister.  The anger was boiling up inside her, but she knew that her sister only wanted to bring her out of her depression.   Her feelings had been unstable as she dealt with the truth of his letter to her.  How many times had she read it hoping to find some clue as to the truth of the failure?  How could she not have known that it was all a sham and she a fool?  “It’s too soon.  Christmas would have been our first anniversary, and I have been robbed of the simplicity of even that.”
    “Have you spoken to our solicitor?”  Lucia looked up as the maid put down the tea tray and curtsied before leaving the parlor.  “You must not wait hoping Samuel will return.  I mean, you wouldn’t take him back would you?”
    Cassie sat down in the wing chair as her sister poured the tea.  “I don’t know.”
    “Casandra, I must insist that you stop this nonsense and realize that he is a rake who sweeps young girls off their feet with his incredible charm.  I will not allow you to entertain even allowing him back into your beds.”
    “Can we not speak of this any longer.”
    “Not until you pledge to put this behind you and end the marriage.”  Lucia sipped her tea with approval.  “You are wealthy enough that you do not need to endure being mistreated.  It is obvious he only wanted your money and your standing in society.”
    “He loved me.”
    “Oh sweet sister, how very naïve you have always been.  I should have taken steps to stop his inappropriate courtship of you, but I too was taken in by his charms.  You must make an effort to put on a good face and get out for the holidays.”
    “You are right.  I am doing myself no good by sulking around the house wondering how I failed to make him happy.”  Cassie picked up a Christmas cake and took a bite unable to enjoy the sugary frosting.  “I think today I shall go shopping for there is only a few weeks before Christmas and I don’t want to show up without gifts for those I love.”
    “That is much better.  Why don’t you change into something warmer and we will go into town for the day?”
    Cassie put down her tea and headed up to her bed chambers.  She took down a new wool dress that she had bought before her world fell apart.  When she came back downstairs, Lucia was putting on her gloves.  The carriage ride into town was slowed down by the falling snow and the many carriages and horsemen along the boulevard.
    “How are Howard and the children?”
    “Howard is very busy with the season and all.  The children are growing excited with anticipation of what Santa will leave under the tree.  I told Howard this morning that the children are becoming spoiled, but he says that if you cannot spoil your children then why have them.”
    “He is a good father.”
    “We had a good father.”  Lucia looked at her sister’s profile and thought the only limits she had to finding a new husband were her incurable shyness.  At least now she would not be afraid of laying with a man only trusting one.  “Mother says that you have declined to spend more than a day with the family for Christmas.  I think it would do you good to spend some quiet time in their company, so they will be assured that you are recovering from this messiness.”
    Cassie smiled at her sister’s description of her situation.  Was a husband stepping out on his marriage with one’s best friend just messiness?  She didn’t know what was more hurtful, losing her husband or her best friend.  No, the most hurtful was the betrayal by the both of them.  The betrayal was what devastated her.  “Why must I assure them of anything?  If they were the least bit concerned, they would have come to see me and to comfort me.”
    “You must make an effort to show everyone that Samuel meant nothing to you.  It is the only way that you can move on.  Can you honestly tell me that you were happy with him?”
    “You are right Lucia.  I can either drown in my misfortune, or I can move on.  I am sure that Lillian is carrying a much bigger burden knowing she has been labeled a harlot and husband stealer.  What must her mother think, knowing that she was capable of hurting me so easily?”
    “I heard that her mother has retired to her country estate in hopes of the scandal dying down.”
    “Is there any news…”
    “No one has seen or heard from either of them.   I would imagine that he took her back to Scotland though I am not sure his father would welcome him.”
    “You know something don’t you?”
    “They are staying in a townhouse that belongs to his family near the outskirts of town.  Samuel has been seen several times coming out of his solicitor’s office but father refuses to even entertain his request for a divorce.”
    “Father needs to stay out of my business.”
    “He’s seeking a financial settlement to go away without hurting you further.”
    “Lucia, he needs the divorce because Lillian is carrying his child and it will be obvious soon enough.  It doesn’t matter because society will soon forget and welcome them back.”
    The carriage pulled up in front of the largest department store as the driver jumped down assisting them out of the carriage.  “Now, let us put our minds toward your shopping.  Have you done any at all?”
    “I have done most of it.”
    Aisles were filled with women of means, and the shelves were teeming with Christmas merchandise of dolls and wooden toys, books and bonnets as well as glass jars filled with Christmas candies.  Cassie loved the holidays but she didn’t understand why Lillian would be blessed with a child while she remained barren.  Life was always fair.
    “Mrs. MacDougall, my how lovely you look this afternoon.”  They both turned to Catherine Ward, who always looked divine.  “Lucia.”  She kissed Lucia’s cheek.  “You were stunning last night, and your husband is always so gracious.”
    Lucia smiled.  “What are you doing out shopping?  Did you find out you were having unexpected company for the holiday?”
    Catherine laughed.  “My sister decided to travel to the city to spend Christmas with us.  As you may remember, she has two young daughters, but she is bringing another young lady for the holiday.  It is unacceptable that she not be treated like family, so I am buying her a new doll.  It is a very tragic story, but we shall discuss it more in private.”
    “Oh my, the holidays do occasion so many sad stories.  Of course, Howard made sure we gave to the orphanage.  Such sad little children.”  Lucia shook her head as Cassie move away not wanting to listen to them.  The children were in a situation much like her own having been abandoned and left to struggle through without someone’s lap in which to lay their problems.  Cassie picked up a silver inlaid rattle as the clerk walked up asking if she could help.
    “Can you deliver this for me?”
    “Of course Mrs. MacDougall.  Let’s fill out the card and we will handle it.”
    “Lucia, how is Cassie handling the holidays?  The poor child must be overcome to understand what happened.”
    “She hasn’t been out of the house much and refuses to socialize.  Of course, you know she is humiliated by the gossip and the betrayal.”
    “Well, she won’t be the first woman to be betrayed by her husband.”
    “No, but she was terribly in love with him and then for him to run off with her closest confidant and friend.  Heaven knows how long it had been going on right under her nose.”
    “Poor thing.  Maybe we should find a nice young man who takes her mind off of her humiliation.  Let me think upon it over the holidays.”
    Cassie had her purchases put into the carriage and joined Lucia in the apothecary shop where she looked for and bought new fragrances.   She took out her list and scolded herself for waiting so long when there were so many presents to buy. 
    Lucia kissed her sister’s cheek as the driver took her packages into the house for her.  “I expect to see you at the party on Friday.  In fact, Howard and I shall come by and pick you up because I know that you will try to weasel your way out of it.”
    “I promise…”
    “No, I know you well enough to know if I don’t pick you up that you will not come.  I don’t want another argument out of you.”  Lucia sat back.  “Howard insists that you hire a butler who can drive your carriage so that you can be independent of others.  He thought the fact that Samuel took your butler was unforgivable and he deserves a thrashing.”
    Cassie laughed.  “It was his man so I don’t know why anyone would wonder about it at all.  Tell Howard I appreciate his concerns for my welfare and if he can suggest someone, I will certainly entertain hiring a butler.”
   
    Lucia stood at the window of her dressing room looking out into the cold night.  “I had hoped it wouldn’t snow until Christmas morning, but it seems that we are in for a frigid holiday this year.”  Her handmaid nodded as she pulled the corset tight.  “I don’t know why I have to wear these things when there isn’t an ounce of fat on my body.”
    Cassie laid her cape across the back of the chair as she took one last look in the mirror.  She had lost weight that she couldn’t afford to lose, but her dress still fit her curves well.  “Samuel, what is it I failed to do that made you abandon me without a chance?  Why couldn’t you give me the opportunity to change and be what you wanted?  I tried so hard and failed so miserably.”  Cassie bit her lip and sucked in her breath.  The sound of the horses on the driveway made her turn to the window.  She knew that Howard would come to fetch her from the house.  When the door opened, he came in with the blowing snowflakes.  He was a stout man with impeccable taste and jolly good humor.
    “Casandra dear, please make sure you bundle up for the weather is quite frightful tonight.”  He picked up her cape holding it out as she kissed his cheek before turning around.  “You my dear look beautiful tonight.”
    “Thank you, Howard.”
    The carriage was warm from the coals that were in the heating pan under the seat.   “Casandra, I have interviewed a man who I think would be suitable for service in your household.”
    “I appreciate your assistance, Howard.  Do you know him personally?”
    “I know of him, and he has recently lost his position due to the untimely death of his employer.  A tragic accident along the highway.  The solicitor has closed down the house, and his employees find themselves without an income right before the holiday.”
    “When can I meet him?”
    “I have asked him to be at your house tomorrow morning at ten.  His name is Benjamin.”
    The host greeted them merrily with a cup of eggnog in his hand and a jovial laugh.  “Ladies, how lovely you look tonight.  Don’t be caught under the mistletoe for I shall not be responsible for shenanigans.”
    Cassie untied her cape as the Butler lifted it from her shoulders.  Her eyes were on the sprig of mistletoe that hung in the doorway into the ballroom.  The image of Samuel and Lillian kissing under it came back with a punch to her gut.  How could she have not remembered that?  Just a week before the wedding.  Cassie fought the urge to put her hand over her mouth to smother the small pain that wanted to escape.  Had their affair been from the beginning?  Were they in love and didn’t know how to call off the marriage?  What a fool he was, what a fool.
    It was a lovely night, and Cassie was glad that her sister had insisted she come.  Her friends were more than gracious in not talking about her marriage of Samuel.  Many of her friends were Lilly’s friends as well.  How many knew what was happening and how many were in contact with her.
    “May I have this dance?”
    Cassie turned facing a strange man.  She looked around before turning back to him.  “I don’t believe we have been introduced sir.”
    He bowed formally.  “Thomas James, Esq. at your service Mrs. MacDougall.”  He put out his hand as she put hers on his and walked out onto the dance floor.  Everyone was watching as the dance began, but he was proper and gentlemanly as they rounded the room.  When the music stopped, he bowed and thanked her before escorting her to the side.  He disappeared through the crowded room as her eyes followed him.  Cassie danced with several long time acquaintances before she joined Lucia in the parlor.   The women were talking about preparations for the holidays and the parties for their children leading up to Christmas.
    “Casandra, will you be going to the country for the holidays?”
    “I shall be joining my family for Christmas as is expected.”
    One of the older ladies leaned forward because she was hard of hearing.  “Have you had any luck finding your husband?  I have heard that he has taken up residency at his Uncle’s townhouse and she is living with him.  I don’t know how she could have ruined her life more than she has done and now her child will be labeled a bastard.”
    The silence in the room made Cassie realize that she would not get away from the gossips and maybe it was a good time to dispel the rumors.  “A small child should never be the fodder for ugly gossip.”  The women all gasped as Lucia nodded in agreement. 
    “Why do you believe she is carrying his child?”
    “Why?  Because she told me that she was, and I believe, she told Marcia and Willa as well.”
    “And you believe it is Samuel’s?”
    “Samuel told me it was in a letter he left behind.”
    “How is it that she is bearing his child and you are not?  Did he not perform his marital obligations…”?
    Cassie excused herself and walked into the hallway wondering how long she would have to stay and listen to the gossip.   Her oldest brother came up behind her and kissed her cheek.  “I have other parties to attend tonight, so if you wish to escape, I will drop you at your home.”
    “Thank you, Randall.”
    He smiled as the pained look on her face dissipated.  “I think it took a lot for you to face the gossips and their thirst for beating an issue to death.”  The Butler held out her cape as she stepped into it.  “I shall tell Howard that I am stealing you away and give our thanks to the host.”
    Cassie looked down nervously as Randall came back and escorted her out to his carriage.  The driver opened the door as she stepped in realizing that there was a gentleman sitting across from her.  “Mr. James.”
    “Mrs. MacDougall.”
    Randall climbed in the carriage and sat next to his sister.  “James, I believe you have met my youngest sister Cassie.”
    “I have.”
    “We will be dropping my sister home before we head out.”
    The carriage pulled out of the long drive onto the boulevard as Cassie sat back trying not to listen to the conversation between her brother and Thomas.  When the carriage pulled up in front of her house, Randall helped her step down and walked her up to the door.
    “Howard said he had found you a butler and driver, but if you don’t have a way to the country on Thursday, I will take you.”  He lifted her chin.  “Casandra, only a thoughtless man would not see how beautiful a young woman you are.”
    “It doesn’t help heal my heart.  You of all people knows what it means to lose love.”
    Randall pulled her into his embrace as the tears soaked through his shirt.  She pulled back and apologized.  “Never apologize for your tears darling.  I love you, Casandra.”
    Randall climbed back into the carriage and sat back.  “If I find that ass, I will call him out.”
    Thomas looked at his friend but knew the statement was his frustration with his failed attempts to find Samuel MacDougall and the woman.  "You have had no luck in finding her husband?”
    “We thought we had found them but when the investigator got there they were gone.”
    “She is quite brave to come out in public so soon after her humiliation.”
    “My sister probably dragged her out.  Cassie has never been a strong child and is painfully shy.”
    “Did no one investigate this man as he swept her off her feet?”
    “As the youngest child, her marriage is not of importance to my father who was just happy to marry her off.   At the moment, he is trying to avoid any conversation knowing that he is expected to exact retribution for Cassie.”
    “He doesn’t wish to be bothered?  I find that hard to believe.”
    “That’s because you don’t know him.  The girls have never held his attention for more than a second glance.”
    The carriage stopped in front of the club as they climbed down.  Randall had been widowed two years earlier when his wife died after a short illness.  The year of mourning allowed him the relief from attending functions, but the last year had been one in which he spent too much time sidestepping the wedding bells.

    Casandra was wrapping gifts when the maid showed Benjamin Ollie into the parlor.  He was a small man who was at least as old as her father but had a very pleasant smile.  “Mr. Ollie, please have a seat.”
    They talked for an hour before she asked him if he could begin immediately.  He settled into his room before putting on his uniform.  Polly showed him the carriage house introducing him to the young stable boy who cared for the horses.
    Cassie finally pulled out the letter from her father-in-law and opened it.

Dearest Casandra,
I have asked my solicitor to send you a letter of release after the holidays.  Without issue from your marriage and under the contract, you signed before the marriage, you relinquish any claim on our estate. 
We wish you the best in your future and getting on with your life.  We urge you to allow our son to live in peace. 
Lord Tho. MacDougall

    “Oh Samuel, what lies have you uttered to justify your behavior.”  She folded the paper and then stood putting it in the fire as the embers caught the corners curling up the paper until it no longer existed.  Cassie could not expect this family to hold any special place for her since she had only met them briefly at the wedding.  Getting married on Christmas had seemed so romantic but in hindsight, it just showed her poor judgment.
    Benjamin turned to the little bell and walked to the foyer opening the door.  “May I help you?”
    “You must be the new butler.  I am Randall Falmouth, Cassie’s oldest brother.  This is my friend Doctor Thomas James.  Would you let Mrs. MacDougall know that we have come to visit?”
    “Yes, sir.”  He took their coats hanging them up before announcing them.
    Cassie put her book down rising to kiss her brother.  “What brings you to my door Randall?”
    “I am delivering the news that our parents will remain in town for Christmas.”
    “Why?  They always go to the country for the season.”
    “Father had an accident on his horse, and the doctor told him that he must keep it elevated until the swelling goes down and the bones set.  They are having all of the family over for opening presents, but mother says they are only serving a buffet since they don’t have room for everyone in the townhouse.”
    Cassie looked at Thomas, who was standing near the tree.   “It is nice to see you again Mr. James.  Do you work together?”
    “Thomas is a doctor and was the one who has confined father to the townhouse.”
    “Oh, well then I must surely thank you for I was not looking forward to the long drive to the country.”
    “I think you should thank the horse.”
    Randall walked over to the sideboard and poured two brandies handing one to Thomas and the other to his sister.  He poured a third glass and sat down in front of the fire.   They were talking about Christmas when Benjamin answered the door.
    “Well, if the little princess hasn’t found a right fine butler.  Charles and Will Falmouth to see our sister.”
    “Yes, sir.”  He took their coats and announced them.  Charles crossed the room handing Cassie a large package as he bent over kissing her.  Will took it away and put it under the tree.
    “Three brothers on the same day?”
    “Leo and Harold will be here in a moment.”
    Cassie put her glass down as her fingers trembled.  “Why?  Have I done something wrong?”  When they didn’t respond, she turned to Randall.  “Did you bring Doctor James here to see if I am crazy?”
    “We have decided that you spend too much time alone thinking about what Samuel did to you, and we thought for Christmas this year that we would take you out for the afternoon.  Mom needs a Christmas tree for the parlor, and we are going to cut it down for her.”
    “Oh, Randall how wonderful.  We haven’t cut down a tree since we were children.  Is Lucia and Peggy joining us?”  Cassie jumped up.  “I need to change clothes.”
    Benjamin answered the door finding two young ladies who came in without invitation as two more men dismounted their horses.  “Will there be more coming, sir?”
    Randall laughed.  “There are only eight of us.”
    “Very well sir.”
    Cassie came down the stairs in black boots and a gray wool dress.  “Benjamin, can I have my heavy coat and cap.”
    Thomas helped the ladies up on the back of the wagon as everyone mounted up.  Lucia threw the blanket across their laps as they headed down the road toward the country.  “Did they get permission to cut down a tree?”
    Lucia rolled her eye.  “Of course, they didn’t.  Our luck, we’ll all be thrown in the jail for pilfering a King’s tree.”  Peggy laughed as her red curls bounced on her shoulder.
    The wagon finally turned down between large trees moving slowly through the snow.  They stopped as the men dismounted.  Peggy immediately climbed down as Lucia folded the blanket and looked around.   Cassie turned around to climb over the side as someone put his hands on her waist lifting her down.
    “Thank you.”  She turned in Thomas’ arms and for a moment didn’t want him to let her go.  “How did you get dragged into their mischief?”
    He leaned into her lowering his voice.  “I volunteered so I could get to know you.”
    Lucia looked at him and then looked at her brothers who were arguing over which tree to cut.  She climbed down over the other side and joined Peggy, who was carrying the rope.  “I like the tall one over there.”
    “Lucia, it must fit in the parlor.  That one would be the parlor.”
    “I still like it.”  They all turned to Charles’ whistle looking at the perfect Christmas tree.  They walked around it before agreeing.  Leo lifted the ax and swung it several times before swinging it perfectly at the trunk.  It took him less than a minute to fall the tree as Peggy threw the rope to Harold.  Once it was tightly bound, they carried it back to the wagon where Cassie was still leaning against it as she talked to Thomas.
   Thomas jumped up on the wagon and helped pull the big three against the back of the seat.  He reached down and pulled Cassie up until she was up against him.  “Thomas you are causing a commotion.”
    “They are all aware that I want to court you.”  Cassie turned and looked at her siblings who all just smiled and turned away as though they were unaware that she was in his arms.  Randall lifted Peggy up setting her on the back of the wagon before he grabbed Lucia throwing her over his shoulder as she yelled at him.
    Harold rolled a snowball in the wet snow taking aim at Cassie who turned as it hit her in the shoulder splattering everything around her.  She jumped down as another one hit her upside the head and soon snowballs were flying and people were taking cover on either side of the wagon.  Cassie fell as she tried to duck a snowball and fell face first into the snow as Lucia fell over laughing so hard that she couldn’t get back up.  They finally called a winner and walked over to the wagon as the girls sat on the edge trying to catch their breaths. 
    Leo reached under the seat and pulled out the oil tarp throwing it over the tree and tying it down.   “Girls, you need to hide the tree if we run into the constable.”  They all mounted and headed back to town pulling the wagon down the drive to the townhouse.
    The noise brought Edwina out of the library where her husband was on the couch with his leg propped up.  “Mother, what is all the noise?”
    “I will check.”
    She laughed when she saw them all come in carrying a large tree.  They were covered in snow and laughing as they stood it up in front of the large windows.  “Someone go out to the stable and get wood so we can make a stand.”  Charles kissed his mother’s cheek as he headed out the kitchen.
    “Where did you find a tree?”
    “In the King’s forest.”
    “Oh, Randall do not let your father find out what you have done.”
    “Father?  I’m trying not to let the King find out since it is one fine specimen of Christmas.”
    Duggan’s voice bellowed through the house.  “Mother, what is going on out there?”
    Leo kissed his mother.  “I’ll take care of father.  You need to help decorate the tree.”
    The kitchen maid brought in refreshments with hot chocolate as they set about decorating the tree.  Thomas went into the library and examined Duggan’s leg that was swollen around his ankle where it was broken.  “I think in a few days we’ll be able to set it properly.  In the meantime, you might want to retire to your beds, so you are comfortable.”
    “Why are all of my children in the house?”
    “They are decorating the tree for Christmas.”
    “They are good children but noisy.”  The maid came in and asked him if he wanted his noon meal.  “I need a shot of whiskey woman.  This damn leg is killing me.”
    Thomas excused himself and went out to his horse pulling out a vial of pain killer.  He went back in and poured a shot of whiskey dropping in two drops of the drug.  “Drink this?”
    “What’s in it?”
    “Something to ease the pain.  I’ll leave the bottle with Mrs. Falmouth in case you need more later, but this should last until bedtime.”
    Duggan nodded and took the shot straight down.  “Do you have a family doctor?”
    “I have a daughter but my family lives in Northern England.”
    “And you aren’t going to spend the holiday with them?”
    “I have too many patients to take time off, and my in-laws have Naomi for part of the holiday.”
    Duggan nodded.  “I remember Randall said you lost your wife.  It was the same time that his wife died from pneumonia.”
    “It was a bad winter.  My wife died in a carriage accident that also took her younger sister.”  Thomas watched as his eyes started to close then open before they closed again and Duggan fell asleep. 
    Thomas stood against the mantle and watched as they decorated the tree.  Cassie came over and stood next to him.  “How is my father?”
    “Asleep.  He’ll be in a lot of pain until the bones are set and he starts to heal.”  She took his hand, and they slipped into the small parlor as she closed the doors.  Thomas put his hand around her waist and leaned down to kiss her softly.   “Can I see you once you are available?”
    “I would like that a lot.”
    He was in the midst of kissing her passionately when they heard the yelling of several of her brothers.  “What in the world.”  Cassie opened the door and stepped out followed by Thomas.
    “Get your hands off of me.  I want to see my wife.”
    Edwina had her hands over her mouth as Leo pulled her out of the way.  Samuel was standing in the foyer facing all five of her brothers as Peggy pushed her way through them to reach Samuel.  “You have a lot of nerve to show your face in my parent’s home.”
    “Where is Cassie?”
    Cassie picked up her skirts and worked through her brothers putting her hand on Peggy’s arm.  “Samuel, why are you here?  Could you not have paid me a visit at home?”
    He pulled papers out of his jacket handing them to her.  “I want you to sign the papers.”
    Randall took them away from her when Samuel stepped forward as Cassie put her hand on his chest.  “Randall give me the papers.”  She put out her hand, and he gave them to her.  “Samuel, would you join me in the parlor.”
    Everyone stepped back as Samuel followed her to the small parlor.  He stopped and looked at Thomas, who was standing in the doorway.  “Who are you?”
    “Mr. Falmouth’s doctor.”
    Cassie closed the doors and walked over to the lamp holding the papers up as she read them.  “Cassie, I have tried to work with your solicitor but your father is determined to punish me for what I have done to you.  I want you to know that I take full responsibility for my behavior.  I was in love with Lillian before we married and she refused to even entertain me.”
    “Samuel, I don’t ever want to see you again.”
    “Lillian wants to talk to you.  She misses you and wants to explain.”  Samuel’s voice softened.  “She received your present and it broke her heart.”
    “Explain what?  You know Samuel, I can understand what happened and really there was no other outcome was there.  What I will not forgive you for is the fact that you weren’t man enough to just tell me before the wedding.  Was this the better way?  The thing about love is that even when it is not returned, it has the ability to live on just the hope and prayer.  You were cruel to take me into your arms and your bed before you cast me aside.”
    “She didn’t want to hurt you Cassie.  She’s eaten up with guilt.”
    Cassie walked over to the small secretariat and sat down.  She picked up the feathered pen and signed her name on the last page.  She stood up leaving the papers on the desk.  “I hope the two of you can find happiness for the sake of your child.”  She opened the doors and headed up the stairs in tears as they all watched.  Lucia and Peggy ran up after her as Samuel put the papers in his pocket.
    He almost made it to the door before Charles said something to him and then knocked him across the foyer.  “You always were a cad.  Don’t come around our sister again and tell that whore you ran off with that everyone knows she’s carrying your baby.  You can try to make it legitimate but everyone will always know.  It will always be whispered when you step out in society and when the court looks at you the shame will rise in your gut.  Damn you to hell Samuel.”
    Leo helped Samuel stand up as he rubbed his chin.  “I suggest you leave before you end up in an alley somewhere.”
    “I’m not afraid of any of you.”
    “You should be.  The only reason you are alive is because we care more about Casandra than you.”  Samuel mounted his horse and disappeared into the night.  “That son of a bitch.  What did she sign?”
    Lucia came down the stairs.  “The divorce papers.”
    “Father is going to take her to task for that.”
    Edwina shook her head.  “I can’t believe he would come here after what he did.”

    Thomas rolled down his sleeves while listening to them berate the man.  “I think I need to let all of you know that I plan on marrying your sister.”
    Leo turned to him.  “Which one?”
    Thomas laughed.  “I enjoyed today.  Randall, I left a bottle of sedative on your father’s desk.  Do not give him more than two drops every eight hours.  I also think you need to get him in bed where he is comfortable.  It will be a few more days before I can set his ankle bone.”
    Thomas headed up the stairs finding her in the far bedroom.  Peggy stood up closing the doors as she left the room.  “How are you doing?”
    “He just took me by surprise.  I didn’t think I would ever see him again.”
    “Did you sign the papers?”
    “I did.”  She smiled at him.  “Can I ask you your medical opinion?”
    “Of course.”
    “My marriage was very…we were trying to have a child.”
    “That is normal.”
    “I never got pregnant, and Lilly did.”
    Thomas turned his head.  “Are you asking if you are barren?”  Cassie nodded.  “Not necessarily but it is always a possibility.”
    He saw the sadness in her face.  “Thomas, I enjoyed spending time with you today.”   
    “May I come by Christmas morning.  There is someone I want you to meet.”
    “I shall look forward to your visit.”
    “I think you should stay here tonight.  I will go by your house and tell Benjamin, so he doesn’t worry.”  He bent over and kissed her. 
    Cassie dressed in a purple and gold plaid dress and pulled her hair back with a ribbon.  She had sent Benjamin to her parent’s house with all of her gifts and a note that she would be there for the noon celebration.  She had taken great care to wrap each gift because the love of family was something that her mother had always taught them. 
    She put her tea cup down on the desk and noticed the wedding ring.  Cassie picked it up watching the sun glisten off of the band.  She walked to the door and down the steps as Benjamin called out to her.  She picked up her skirts and ran across the street to the park.  She closed her eyes and pulled her arm back like she did when they played cricket.  The circle of gold arched between the trees and flew with such grace as it dropped skidding across the ice like the edge of a blade at the end of a great figure eight.
    “I hope that was worth coming out in the cold without a coat.”
    Cassie turned to find Thomas with a slim girl holding his hand and looking up at her.  “This is my daughter Naomi.”  Cassie looked at him for what seemed an eternity and then squatted down in front of the little girl.  She was small, dark and held tightly to her father's large hand but her smile lit up her face.
    “Merry Christmas Naomi.”
    “Are you my angel?”
    “Your angel?"
    “My mommy told me before she went to heaven that she would send back an angel to take care of daddy and me.  Are you that angel?”
    Cassie bit her lip.  “I am that angel.”

Barb